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  • Writer's picturebertandernietheberners

All the things Ernie has destroyed

Updated: Dec 4, 2022

Pet parents, you know how it is. Your sweet, fuzzy angel baby puppy starts teething and all of a sudden, nothing in your home is safe. Of our two pups, Ernie is definitely the mischievous one! Lucky for us, his destruction is exactly that - not consumption. Berners have a reputation for being sock eaters, but that hasn't been the case for our boys. Read on to see all the trouble Ernie has caused...

Footwear

Puppy Ernie didn't chew shoes indiscriminately - just certain pairs and certain parts of those shoes. There were some very specific brand preferences and component choices at play. The first casualties were the leather laces of Ben's boat shoes. We quickly learned that lace repair kits are available on Amazon (affiliate link) and had to purchase a couple. We got pretty good at restringing the shoes, but here's a lacing guide if you are facing the same issue with your Sperrys!


Ernie also took it upon himself to remove the fluff from the insoles of my prized cushy Ugg slippers at least twice. Again, replacements are available on Amazon (affiliate link) for a much better deal than fully replacing the slippers! Luckily he seems to have outgrown this penchant for footwear as he's gotten older.


The Backpack Break-in

As a pup, Ernie's destructive behavior usually took place within the first 20 minutes after we'd left the house as he was first learning how to exist unsupervised out of his kennel. One epic example was the time he pulled my backpack off a chair, gnawing at straps and cracking plastic buckles (we found all the pieces - nothing got swallowed). Once he'd opened up the backpack, he pulled out the contents and got to work chomping on those.

  • An external battery charger and case

  • A pair of prescription sunglasses and case

  • A Sharpie that he managed to uncap - somehow we did not have ink all over the house!

Another casualty of Ernie's learning to be left alone out of his kennel was his first Invisible Fence collar. We'd taken it off him and left it sitting on the kitchen table and returned to this:

Now he wears a collar with a bite guard!


Paperwork

Grabbing papers off the dining room table has become a signature Ernie move he'll use to tell you he's ANGRY. He doesn't eat the paper - just shreds it into itty bitty bits. Some of the items that met their demise:

  • A mortgage statement

  • Hello Fresh recipe cards (affiliate link - note - the recipes are all in the app!)

  • A love note


When I moved to Dallas for a summer internship in grad school, I got a small stuffed Berner toy to take with me. This little plush dog became #TeenyTinyErnieBernie, our globe-trotting toy that we photograph like a Flat Stanley whenever we travel without the dogs. After I'd returned from Dallas, I was getting ready for an international trip and had Teeny sitting out among the other items I was planning to pack. Ernie found him and chewed his nose off! I didn't have time to repair the nose before my trip, but with the help of some Gorilla Glue, Teeny's plastic surgery was a success and he's continued his travels with us. For more on #TTEB, see this post!


A Mirror

When Bert was about 4 months old, the two dogs were wrestling in our bedroom near a large mirror we had leaned against the wall. One thing led to another and CRASH! It's a little unclear who was at fault for the damage, but signs point to Ernie since Bert was probably too little to knock the mirror over. The whole thing shattered but amazingly the only injury resulted was a small cut on Ernie's shoulder. He needed a few staples to close the wound but was good as new in a couple weeks. Lesson learned - anchor your mirrors to the wall if you have dogs, just like you'd do for small kids!


Food

If you've followed us on Instagram for a bit, you'll know that Ernie's favorite food is pizza. He delights in snagging a piece of our Ooni creations - we'll usually offer him and Bert our crusts, but Ernie's gotten disturbingly competent at sliding a slice off the cutting board when nobody is looking. Maybe this is his super power?


Ernie's all time top food heist was at a birthday party when he absconded with a large chunk of very expensive cheese from an unattended (counter height!) charcuterie board. As he raced to devour it under the dining room table (Fort Ernie, as we call it), he was sadly disappointed when we fished it out of his mouth. Too much cheese for a dog!


All the things Bert has destroyed

Nothing!


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